I noticed recently that a former pen pal correspondent of mine has reposted her profile. She accumulates several men (those who are only willing to send money- even though she claims on her profile she is not seeking donations) and either passes along the undesireables to other inmates or simply doesn't reply. When men become wise to her tactics or can't afford "the pleasure of her company" she hunts for a new crop... like she's doing now. In regards to her sexuality, she claims to be straight; However, she was relocated to a different facility partly due to her lesbian behavior. Personally, I have no axe to grind (being wise early on to her techniques) with her; However, she is a phoney, fraud, and habitual liar. I believe people should be warned about her. I have 3 years worth of letters from her to back up my claims, if that helps any. I don't want to see anyone emotionally hurt or victimized by her scamming ways. She is not seeking pen pals to combat loneliness, nor love, or "happily every after"... this is purely a financial game for her... a middle-aged woman seeking a sugar daddy until her release. A predator posing as a house cat. Suggestions to the following courses of action are welcomed.
Sit back, do nothing, and allow people to get suckerd in? Speak with and provide my evidence to the Admins and hope they cancel her profile (I would be willing to pay for the refund myself)? Post everything I know about her here and hope someone reads this before getting suckered in. She is very charming and can be very sweet; However, so was Ted Bundy.
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I don't think you can do anything but hope people get wise to her was quickly, and hope for the best.
I would email the admin's with your evidence, and then stop worrying. It is not your problem. People usually become aware of deceitfulness. Although in some cases, it takes a while for us to come to realise we are being manipulated.
Quite a few months back, I was faced with a penpal's ultimatum: "Send more money, or I'll stop writing."Screw you!" was my simple response.
Sure, tell the admin. You did it right by not putting her name on the forum and taking care of it more "professionally." Not sure what they can do about it but at least you'll know that you did the best you could.
If she is a "middle aged woman seeking a sugar daddy" then more than likely he will know when he starts sending the $$$$, not forgetting he will be getting a return for his investment, no doubt. People ONLY do what works for them, it goes both ways, whether your a giver or taker as you believe she is. It may take some a little while to figure it out but they will. She can only spend a limited amount on commissary, so if she is getting a decent amount of money on her books it will be noticed. Like others who have been in her position before the prison will investigte if they feel her conduct is worthy of that appropriate action will be taken as we have seen in many cases.
The emotional investment you make in someone, well that's a different ball game. Sometimes you cannot even save the very best of people from investing, they have their own path to walk.
If she could dispute your claims i wonder what she would say?
I know what you have shared does happen and regularly and in no way am i saying this has not taken place for you, but my concern is it is easy to point a finger when another is not here to defend (saying you want others to be aware of her, posting information). Maybe if she were able to speak out she would have a different perception to your own??
Interesting read and see how many posted comments........think someone is trying to share there message. :nod:
The Game's That Inmates Play
I'll add my two cents worth of opinion. I am in agreement with [B]gooddog [/B]that you should let the administration know what happened. And after that, move on. I knew plenty of guys in prison that would seek money from those that wrote them. I even had guys ask me to write their penpals letters as I was very good at crafting letters that would draw the woman into sending money or other things. Not proud of that but at the time I was getting commissary for writing the letters. But realize that not all people in prison will seek money as a primary motivation. I never did and in fact was a little embarrassed when it was offered. Unlike many inmates I had money in my account and really did not need more.
But like I said, there are those that are just in it for the money or what they can get. This woman sounds like one of them. Is she right or wrong in this, well that's not my call. As they say there is a sucker born every minute and she seems to have something these guys desire else she would not be getting money from them. In the end though, I think that this will catch up with her. You screw enough people, it will turn around and screw you.
So in [B]beorganic's [/B]case I would say just move on. And next time watch for the red flags, i.e. asking for money right off, telling you how they have nothing and can you help, etc. when they don't even know you yet. Once a relationship is built and "YOU" wish to, it's great to ask if they need something. A REAL person and friend will not try to take advantage of you. Wish you luck and don't give up on writing inmates.
Pen pals MUST disclose if they are seeking donations. If a pen pal has violated this by seeking donations without putting it on their profile they please report them. If they are sharing addresses you should also report them.
Here's the link to our contact page: WriteAPrisoner.com - Contact Us. Please forward to us the information so we can take care of this situation.
Also...to all those who advised you to contact us - THANK YOU! Gooddog - thank you for remembering that names cannot be posted in the forum!!!
I sent a guy a letter a few years back, and promptly received a letter from someone else I didn't contact. He said the other guy had enough penpals and handed off his unwanted ones, as if I was just trash. Well this guy asks for stamps, I sent stamps, no big deal; he asked me to look up some stuff online for him and a few friends by social, about when their federal checks were coming which had been delayed for various reasons, quite legal, no big deal, I did it and let them know when their money was coming, although the warden pitched a hissie fit, even though he had no right or reason to do so, since they gave me the info. and I did the checking for them as asked. This guy also asked for a pic which I sent him a few, and he sent one, then he started trying to get me to agree to let him come live with me etc., then begged for my phone number, which for some stupid reason I gave and told him only call for the direst of emergencies, and he wouldn't stop harassing me with collect calls, and he also said all the inmates at the prison loved all my pictures that he had shared with the whole lot of them! I ceased all communication with the nitwit and warned him not to ever contact me again or I'd sick his warden on him! He had already been moved to a less comfortable area without a/c for previous crap he had pulled that pissed the warden off, and he finally stopped writing me and trying to run over me. You just have to be blunt with them, because many will try to use you and steal you blind, and they have no problems lying to you to get what they want!
Yes they will try to use you and steal you blind just like this guy did with you from the off.
You left out an important piece of this story. The part where it says YOU allowed all this. You know what? I had a similar creature on to me once and I stopped him cold. It's called "NO" and sometimes it has to be used. Yep, there's people in this world that will take it to the utmost degree of usery, IF [B]you let them[/B]. They're in prison and they're in the free world. Sorry that happened in your experience but it isn't all of our experiences.
I don't think I would respond to someone that I didn't choose to write to directly. It took me awhile to choose the ones I did and I choose them for specific reasons. I also do not plan on looking up things or getting information for my penpal either. I wouldn't want to do anything to jepardize my freedom! As for sending stamps and money, I will make that decision if and when the time comes. I don't really make a lot over what it takes to pay my bills so if someone is looking for a piggy bank they are pretty much out of luck. :)
We all have to remember that these people are in prison. Some are desparate and some just plain bored. If I was in prison and needed stamps, I may very well do the same thing. The only way to know if these people are not lying or scamming you is by time. This also goes the other way around as I'm sure there are people out there that target inmates as well. All 3 of my responses were very nice but I also know that one letter could change all of that.
After I read some of the comments on this article I did get a bit spooked. I then looked at it rationally and decided that I have the power to allow or stop this from happening. I firmly believe that some people should not be writing to prisoners and it may be more harmful to them then rewarding.
I'm new here and just reading through all the threads to try and get a better picture of what I should and shouldn't do. Personally I wouldn't mind sending stamps if asked but I'm not sure about sending money. If I did I would like to have been speaking to the person a while and get to know them before deciding, just to make sure they aren't just responding to get money. I think if I was asked for money on the first contact then I'd politely send them a reply saying no and then see what happens, whether they decide to continue contact or not. And if they passed my address onto other inmates just because they already have enough pen-pals, I'm not sure if I'd reply either. It takes time to pick a pen-pal and I have my own preferences.
Hi and welcome....
Some states dont allow you to send stamps and you would probably have to send money for them to buy stamps.