Hi all!
New here. Never written to an inmate.
I found an inmate I would like to write to, as I find their spiritual beliefs fascinating, but the crime they committed is something I am less than fascinated by. It does worry me that they could potentially have my address. Will the inmate see my address? I want to get a PO box but it's about $160 where I live, unfortunately. I would like to communicate, but don't want to risk any form of safety.
Thanks!
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Well written cityhiker72, very true. I had a PP who had unfortunately been convicted of murder and he was a lovely and very remorseful of what he'd done. And after hearing the circumstances I, likewise, could empathise with his situation (though having the opposite experiences personally) and have never worried about him coming to seek me out. We don't write anymore but it was a great connection
Hi there, I had some of the same worries that you did. Namely two of the inmates that I write to had been convicted of murder, and that gave me a lot of pause in regards to giving out my address. In the end I did though, for a few reasons--like others have mentioned they are in other states, and will be in prison for a number of years yet. Even when they get out they wouldn't be able to travel easily. Also I did some research, and murderers are the least likely to reoffend after release (with that crime anyway...for most it's a one time thing). Finally, I realized that almost anyone in the world could get my name and address if they wanted to. I mean it's public information. So I thought why not, and in the end I was glad I did. The men I write to did terrible things, but they grew up in circumstances that I can't imagine, and also they have been through a lot of restorative justice sessions, and feel awful about what they did. Now I did do one thing: I didn't write to those who didn't say right upfront that they had done terrible things, but they felt awful about it, etc. I wanted some sense that they felt sorry for what they had done, and regretted it deeply. Oh, and one more thing! I thought about the fact that writing ministries have been going on for many years, but not once in the news have I heard of someone being victimized by a person she or he used to write to. Having said that, I'm sure it happens, but it's not like it's a common concern. So my advice is to go with your heart, and make a difference in someone's life...it will be good for you both. Best wishes!
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I don't know where you're at (i.e. in the US or not). If you're overseas, you don't have to have any worries about an inmate getting after you at all, as they would probably not even allowed to travel (let alone have the $ for it) when they're out.
If you're in the US, you might just pick someone who's far away enough (though you might regret it later when you know the person better for wishing to be able to visit easier- if there starts a friendship to bloom, that is).
I've been writing to several guys since the beginning of 2018 and none of them ever did or said anything to make me feel unsafe.
The guy who first replied tome got released on parole in July and I really never had any sleepless night over it. After writing for a year and a half I knew him well enough to know he wouldn't harm me.
Those worries you have... they're normal, but it's really just the beginning. At the end of the day, ppl are ppl and when you get to know someone you'll build a bond in whatever form. It's not always "sugar and spice and all things nice", but it isn't a horror movie, neither.
The only advice I really give to you after reading your post is: Choose someone whose crime you can live with. It's not say you have to approve of it (who does, really? I think, most of us writing in don't), but you should pick one whose crime doesn't scare you to death.
As with most people here, I write and have written to prisoners in the USA, and with me being from New Zealand I never really had that worry.
I know letters get binned if they don't have a return address on the outside, not sure if that goes for all prisons... someone on here also said that the inmates don't get given the evenlopes but I know my PP does 'cause we decorate the envelopes with our art skills (mine less so than his!)
I think you should see this like a friendship that happens in slow motion, like meeting a person at a party and where you'd have a conversation back in forth with them starting very broadly and not itimately, you do the same but one letter at a time. They're all people at the end of the day, and we often don't know what "bad" illegal people we met in our everyday lives have done, but at least this way, you know one of, or the worst thing this person has done.
Write for the friendship, not the curiousity