Since I don't belong to any relationship websites I thought I would post here for some advice.
I posted an ad on a dating website and started emailing this man after he sent his picture. We emailed for about a week and then talked on the phone a few times before meeting. He seemed like a really nice guy. Well, he said he had some problems with his teeth before we met but I didn't think much about it. When we met I found out that he has rotten, yellowed teeth and it just looks horrible. It was a big dealbreaker to me. We had met for a drink and after I left I emailed him and said that I just wasn't going to pursue a relationship.
OMG, this person won't leave me alone. He said he thought we were soulmates and continues to text and email me daily. Even after I got mean and said "what part of I don't want to date you don't you get?" Out of the blue he justs sends me texts or email with what he is doing. It's very creepy and it's scary to say the least.
I have no idea what to say to this person to make him stop. I only have his email and phone number. Unfortunately I let him pick me up for our "date" so he knows where I live.
Is there anything I can do to get rid of this person? I've stopped responding to him because it's useless.
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I had to keep at the cops when I was threatened by my ex. He had moved back home to mommy, so it was across state lines and no one wanted to touch it. But I kept on them and eventually the cops in his state visited him. First time he wasn't home, so they talked to his mother a touch. She had a FIT, then they talked to him. I haven't heard from him since. (a good number of years now.)
So protect yourself first and foremost. And keep EVERYTHING. You may need it later if he won't go away.
Three wars.
Cod Wars - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
[ATTACH=CONFIG]2765[/ATTACH]
[QUOTE=Silas Sydenham;1048668](And I had in my head the [I]cod war[/I], not the[I] world war[/I].)[/QUOTE]
There was a war over fish? ;)
When I was living in the state of Florida, I had a crazy chick after me for a while. She imagined I was "after her man" (so hell no not) but that's what she thought. She left several very threatening messages on my phone which I saved, played for the police, and they took it VERY seriously, went to her house and I never heard from her again. I think that once threats are made then there can be action. Without actual threats, not so sure? And I guess every state is different with how they treat these things.
Fully agree with no more attention to him unless it has to be police or lawyer letter.
The US joined them in July 1945, nearly 4000 people.
It looks like you made it crystal clear that you don't want to see him anymore,so now all you have to do is not respond back at whatever he says.He might go on and send you messages and stuff for a month or two (if he is really that obsessed).Even if it goes that long DO NOT RESPOND.If he gets aggresive meaning sends you a threat,then you go to the police with a lawyer and show them all the messages and threat/threats.Those guys are usually cowards and when they see the police they pee on themselves.
So:
1)Don't respond even if it goes on for a while.
2)Go to the police only if he threatens you in any way (if you go before a 'threat' police might not take it too seriously).
3)Have a lawyer when you go to the police,he/she will defenately know better what to do and the police won't/can't ignore it.
(And I had in my head the [I]cod war[/I], not the[I] world war[/I].)
Silas is not being mean. Silas is just being Silas: a victim of too much education and a woefully slow internet connection.
At least you can admit it, so many others cant
i'll tell you since silas is being mean (and because i need to use the knowledge i learned whilst gaining my useless degree in history).
winston churchill pointlessly invaded iceland in WWII like a jerk. iceland wanted no part of the war. churchill said, "oh hell no. we don't want the germans taking over more stuff, so to prevent this we're going to march right on in, along with these canadians, and take what we want." (not a direct quote)
I have nothing to say. I know nothing. Grandmother is still unwell. Perhaps you should re-try your history exams. Grandmother is getting better. I know nothing. I have little to say.
:lol:
[QUOTE=Silas Sydenham;1048648][U][/U][B][U]SWOOSH[/U][/B][/QUOTE]
Does that mean you aren't going to tell me? :beg:
[U][/U][B][U]SWOOSH[/U][/B]
I failed history so I'm not sure whether or not Churchhill had compassion for Iceland or not! LOL I have to admit somtimes your posts swoosh right over my head.
Well, I can't do that because I'm not going to be intimidated. I called the police department and they took his name and phone number and said that if he texts or emails again to tell him I've contacted the police and filed a complaint. If he contacts me again he said that I should get a restraining order and if he shows up at my house now that I've filed a complaint and told them I asked him not to contact me that they can arrest him. Somewhat comforting I guess.
Just let the whole thing go.
Ok sorry for the advice didnt read the part about him having serious issues, def dont contact him... let it go for a few days, and have someone intervene if you feel threatened..sounds strange that he hasn't let it go.. I can so relate to the ones you are interested in.. I don't seem to get a lot of interest myself, although one of my friends says I have too high of standards..lol.. oh yeah I want them to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation I guess that is asking too much.
Sorry to hear about the experience, just respond to him if you feel the need and just state nice to have met him, and just let him down it was just one date why is he bothering you so much.. plus in the future, meet anyone at a public place then they will not know where you live...Ive done the online date thing too must admit, it didn't go too badly but glad to be single now..lol..Hope it all resolves.
I have about as much opinion or advice on this issue as Churchill had compassion for Iceland.
Yes, I did think about the fact that even negative attention he is happy getting and almost didn't send it for that reason. However the other emails I sent weren't as direct and simply said nicely "please stop emailing me". I wanted to make d!mn sure that he knew very clearly that I didn't want him to contact me again. I will call around tomorrow and see what I need to do if this escalates further so that I'm prepared.
The reason why it scares me is because any normal, logical thinking male wouldn't behave this way and would chalk it up to just being a bad date. Obviously he has some serious issues and the fact that he doesn't see this as abnormal is what scares me.
If I could only get the men I do want to date to be 1/2 this interested! Sorry, I tend to make bad jokes when faced with a unsettling situation!
I wonder if the police would consider making a call to him. I know nothing about what they would do but it might at least put some fear in him?
maybe u should post his p# and email and let your good friends here bug him lol. what a jerk
Well, good for you. Unfortunately, you'll have to follow up on that now I guess. He seriously doesn't get it. Unfortunately "any" attention is attention at this point.
What do you think would happen if you just completely ignored any further communication and yet did indeed find out what it would take to register a complaint but without having to tell him, deal with him, etc- but just to do what you need to do to protect yourself?
Ok, now I'm seriously creeped out and a bit scared. I got this text today after I told him if he texted me again I was going to go to the police.
[B]"want to go to the casino Saturday night? Can't stop thinking about u. Don't send the cops I didn't do anything wrong. want to see you.[/B]
I sent this reply via email after some thinking about it. Now I am aware that the police aren't going to actually [I]do [/I]anything and if I did report him that they would say just that, that they can't do anything at this point. I considered just ignoring it and any future communication I will but I thought I would send this email to make it crystal clear. This is enough to encourage me to stop dating alltogether :(
____________________
I am going to say this in the nicest way possible though I really don't think you deserve it. Mainly I am sending this so that I have a paper trail to bring as evidence to the police.
I do not want to date you. I do not want to see you. I do not want you to text me or email me ever again. If you do I will pursue criminal stalker charges.
If you respond to this email or text me again, I will take all your emails and text message promptly down to the police station and file a criminal complaint.
Let this be notice to you that I want you to cease all communication with me immediately.
I am also blind copying recipents so that they also have a copy of this email.
Now do you all see how important oral hygiene is?
Okay, that was just a joke to lighten the mood.
Mountanddo, as the others have said, save all communication from him and if this goes any further, turn over all the evidence to the police. I find with this type of behaviour, its incremental and its best to nip it in the bud. I hope this ends soon.
Thank you VikingChick, if it continues I will send you the info. He more of an annoyance for right now but I am prepared for it to turn into something else.
I've dated people from different websites for about 10 years now and have ALWAY'S met people in a public place. I don't know why I decided not to do that in this case. Lack of good judgement for one and the fact that we were emailing and talked on the phone quite a few times before meeting. He WAS a nice guy until I told him I didn't want to see him. I didn't even tell him at first that it was because of his teeth but I'm sure he figured that out after he wouldn't leave me alone and I got mean.
Sometimes I think dating is just not worth it!
Sorry, it's a subject near to my heart for the obvious stated reasons.
So also: next time, don't get picked up at your house. Meet in a public place. Thing is, the chances of running into another person like this are slim, so the horse is already out of the barn on that but definitely keep that as a policy if there is a next time.
I've never seen any of those dating sites but I would imagine they've got some sort of policy in them that members are not to harass other members? That's why I thought about contacting the site admin.
This sounds like a pure case of stalking to me. However, I'm not sure how those laws work. It may be that you have to tell this man that you do not share his interests, and ask him to leave you alone (in writing). If he continues to bother you, then I would go to the police, with that evidence, and file charges. Good luck with it.
If you have his phone number and his name, you can find out who he is. I'm sure you've already searched the online phone directories, and if you haven't found him there, I'd be more than willing to help you. Just send me a pm, and I'll see what I can do. I used to look for info like this for work, and I have access to some really good search engines.
Other than that, I agree with RaineDancer; keep everything he sends you, and contact the police.
I have experience with this.
First: do NOT answer, write, call, text. NOTHING. Do not answer him. At all. No matter what he writes. If he's just annoying, he'll go away. If he turns scary or violent or threatening, YOU don't answer to him- you take that to the police and get a restraining order if needed. You save everything but don't answer. The reason for this is, it feeds him to answer. ANY attention whatsoever feeds the drama , even if it's negative attention that says "F you" means you are paying attention. If you withdraw your energy then at least you know you are not feeding it.
I have a friend going through this right now and she had to change all email accounts and phone numbers, follow the absolutely no contact rule, and call the police several times when he showed up at her house repeatedly. The restraining order is only a very last resort because believe it or not, even that "gives attention" so I wouldn't go that far unless physically threatened but it's an option.
I would remove any trace of myself from that dating site or anything he could possibly have any access to and make sure you inform the site admin.
So far from what you wrote, sounds like he's annoying, socially inept, etc, but hasn't given you reason to think he won't go away if you withdraw all further energy, contact, etc. If he doesn't go away after that, yep, it's a problem. I have a cousin who did 4 years in prison for stalking- for real. Not only did he stalk his girlfriend to the point where she had him arrested several times and do time for those threats and stalking but he also stalked and threatened my parents. To this day he is still sending legal threats via lawyers, etc. Utterly insane. I'm not saying you've got that kind of monster but hopefully it will go away before it grows. Do not feed it. Good luck.
Keep all messages, emails etc and go to the police, tell him you are going to do this if he doesn't cease all contact immediately. This happened to my SIL and it can quickly turn into a bad situation. I hope he listens and leaves you alone.