MUST BE 18 OR OLDER - MUST READ TERMS OF SERVICE

Many inmates need housing when they come home. If you would be willing to help someone locate a residence upon exiting prison, please visit Inmate Housing Profiles.

In Need of a Pick Me Up

11 posts / 0 new
Last post
Blacktidesly
Blacktidesly's picture
In Need of a Pick Me Up

I've been having a rough few days since I can't really leave the house (I'm at risk for serious complications with Corona and I just haven't had a good enough excuse to go socialize). I've been hoping for some letters to finally come back but so far I've had nothing and I just feel painfully lonely. I don't know what it is about a letter vs. a text but I think the ability to physically hold a letter and know someone took the time to think of me... well its a lot easier to feel cared about (starting to get an inkling of a feeling of what the guys I write to feel like). I'm just writing this to see if anyone has some good pick me up stories. I've wanted to ask about other people's PPs goofy habits and stories for a while now so no time like the present. 

 

I guess I should include my own little one. I really only have this one but one of my guys says I'm " [his] Goth Lover". His grammar isn't very good, he means it like "you're my friend who loves Goth styles" but it's really sweet and I find it endlessly enduring. 

VioletGrey
VioletGrey's picture

Not a pick me up per say, but tonight I worked on a little "project" for my PP. He lives in the United States and I live in New Zealand so I traced (could have printed one off if I wasn't out of ink) two maps (for the two main islands of NZ) and am going to write ALL about New Zealand and fun stuff/facts about the cities or personal experiences/events that have happened in those cities, so he can get a better understanding of where it is that I live :) 

Something as an inbetween "fluff" letter. Something he can study and look at and see the distances between the places and feel like he's more connected to the place names and the things I'm talking about in my letters. 

Letters have been super slow since Christmas, and the quickest letter I've had was written on the 20th Feb and I received it on the 5th March. But nothing since that which is just over two weeks. So I'm writing to keep my hands busy and hoping it puts a smile on his face :)

 

 

Blacktidesly
Blacktidesly's picture

That's really cool! You're far more dedicated then I could be to tracing out whole maps, I don't have the hand to make that sort of thing look good. I might have to steal that idea though sometime!

 

I'm hoping right now that it's just that things are slow and not that I've done something wrong. I've worried about everything from that I've used the wrong pen type to asking a question that someone in the mailroom didn't like and so tossed it. I'm a worrier by nature so going from 2 weeks between letters the first time I sent out to nothing after almost a month is stressing m out. Even domestically it seems like things aren't traveling as fast as you would think. 

VioletGrey
VioletGrey's picture

You learn to be dedicated to those pen pals in the most restrictive of places, and always inspiration on here from someone coming up with new things to do for our PPs. Feel free to "steal" that idea, I'm giving it freely :D 

I'm the opposite of a worrier, so I can't help you with the general anxious thoughts, but snail mail is slow, and responses take time. There isn't as much stuff that'll get your letter thrown out as you think there is. I, like others on the forum, swear a lot in my letters, because I swear when I talk, and I write how I talk. As for something you've said to offend someone, it's a waiting game but worrying isn't going to make any difference except put yourself through the stress of your invented scenarios. 

There's a lot going on in the world right now and we all just have to do what we can to get ourselves through it, and stressing isn't going to help that. Sending you good relaxing vibes.

 

Blacktidesly
Blacktidesly's picture

Thank you VioletGrey, I really appreciate the support. I guess I'll just have to hang out and see where things though and just learn to be okay with it haha. I'll probably just pick up an old hobby like reading while I wait :)

Northernyank
Northernyank's picture

Prison is a cruel test in patience. Mail across the board in both State and Federal facilities is running slow. My husband is 2.5 hours away from me and his letters take 5-7 days to reach me. I have a pen-pal in the Maine State Prison where my letters can take again 5-7 days. Once my letters to him arrive (and vice versa) can sit in the mail room waiting to go out for another 5-7 days because of staff shortage. Just hang in there. 

freebird1
freebird1's picture

Hey Blacktidesly.. you haven't been around on here for a while, so just checking in to see if you're ok? It sure is tough when we expect mail and it doesn't arrive, so I know at least some of what you're going through. One of my mails still hasn't landed with my pp, and wondering if it ever will, or if someone in the mailroom has taken exception to some rather explicit (but factual) paragraphs. Just like Violet, I tend to write as I talk too, and yep can get a bit sassy mouthed with the cuss words. There is never any malicious or offensive intent, just how I would express myself to anyone, and some of the language my pp has written which has got through seemingly with no problem would indicate that isn't the reason for non delivery. But who knows how mailroom staff react on any given day. It's a bit of a lottery right now. Anyway, sorry I have digressed (the problem with writing as the mind works lol) Iet us know you're doing ok matey?! 

Blacktidesly
Blacktidesly's picture

 

Hi freebird1! Thank you for checking in! That was really sweet of you :,). I'm having a real rough go right about now. I'm trying to learn to cope with my new job, I work with elderly people in an assisted living facility and with no visitor right now it's really depressing. Moral is pretty low and so the stress of my first "adult" job has been taxing and my mom is trying to get me to go full time (not realizing that it's a very emotional job for me because I haven't learned to put up walls yet). I've been sleeping a lot (previous sleep issues have been aggravated a bit), I feel like I'm bad at my job and have to keep reminding myself that I'm new and I'll get it soon. 
I'm also dealing with a complicated PP situation right now and I've been trying to figure it out on my own. Scared of the whole "you complete dingus" comments that could potentially come up. I'm hoping I've fixed it because I don't want to cut him off but... well, he's a bit "explicit" but I'm a way that isn't quite exactly? It's hard to explain. 
To add onto everything I've dealing with social issues, I've "outgrown" some of my older friendships and have been dealing with the complicated situation because I don't want to completely cut them out but I need distance. That earlier mentioned penpal also wants to start using jpay and I'm not  sure I can keep up with that level of constant communication with him at this time. 

Long story short, just busy and emotional! I've been reading a few things on the forum I just haven't had the energy to respond (or even read everything on here I would like too). Don't get me started on how long it's taken me to write letters in all this haha! I usually spend 3-4 hours on one letter and get it out the day I after I write it and I've had an extra day lag with all of this. Not terrible and really only bothers me but alas, haha!

thank you again for checking in! Hopefully I'll be back up and running soon now that my work schedule is evening out!

ST4s
ST4s's picture

Hey Blacktidesly, let me tell you something. My mom is in an assisted living facility. Visiting has been forbidden since early March and it’s been extremely difficult for the rest of us. But you are critically important to people like me in these times, because you are our proxy. You can be there when we can’t, for the most important people in our lives.

I’ve seen you (the collective you) in action in this role, like y’all need superhero capes because they’re so richly deserved. Please accept my pride in you, and love for you, and thanks for you, for doing what you do – because I can’t.

Re: the pen pal thing, it’s a weird analogy for me these days, in that my most important human being in the world is locked away from me. But you’re right there, and I thank you more than you can possibly know. And perhaps just like the pen pal thing, maybe instead of building walls you can break them down, and be the conduit to what’s good out here.

I too like to spend time on letters and 3-4 hours is not unheard of. It’s my hangout time with my buds. In this Sahara Desert of incoming mail, I’m still writing them anyway. We’re in a kind of time warp now, where replies to things are from three letters ago, but it’s okay, kinda cool, actually.

As for JPay, you don’t have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. It doesn’t need to be constant. The pace of things is still up to you. But I can tell you, getting those new message alerts on my phone brings the same instant smile that a letter in the mail gets, so, don’t discount it. It might be worth a shot.

Anyway, thank you for being you. I mean that.

VioletGrey
VioletGrey's picture

I hope that you're doing okay and not put off by everything going on at the moment. I know what it's like to feel like when one area of your life starts feeling heavy that somehow more of your life starts to get dragged down with it. I do however, hope that's not the case with you, and that the blue days are starting to look a bit rosier. 
 

I can (always) agree with ST4s about the job you do, and the people that do that job being heroes of humanity. My grandfather was in a retirement village hospital after he had his stroke and the nurses who looked after him were beyond amazing. When I would visit, I was often completely overwhelmed by everything going on, but all the staff were wonderfully calm and empathetic and seemingly very caring. It does take a special kinda person to do those kinds of jobs, so you should be easy on yourself since you're starting new and know that people appreciate all you do. Practice makes progress, there's no such thing as perfection.

Just take the step back you need from the pen pal thing until you're feeling a bit less overwhelmed by it. Everything happens in just the time it's meant to, and breaks are needed from everything in life. 

 

Blacktidesly
Blacktidesly's picture

Thank you Violet and ST4s. It's been rocky in some spots and good in others. I'm adjusting a little better now, one of my coworkers started checking in on me every few hours to make sure I'm doing okay after he caught me in the middle of a high anxiety moment and another seems to have decided that he is my mentor in life in general so that's been okay haha. I'm with a completely different crew tonight so that may put me on the path of "things are stressful" again but I'm trying to stay hopeful!

Even though I don't quite consider myself a hero, I do appreciate the sentiment. Either way, knowing that my job gives families peace of mind during all of this is really uplifting and I'll take that with me tonight when I'm on the floor.